Halle Berry: A Jew writes

Now, it may come as something as a surprise but, actually, this Jew was positiviely DELIGHTED by Halle Berry's hilarious corker of a Jewish joke on the Jay Leno show earlier this week. Oh sure, some might say that Halle holding up a picture of herself with a computer generated large schnozzle on her visage and saying, "That could be my Jewish cousin!" might, just might, be construed as offensive. And some, yes, might expect a Jewish young lady such as myself to take a bit of umbrage at the suggestion that the only distinguishing feature to our demographic is that we all have honkers the size of Arkansas instead of lauding, say, our innate sexiness, sparkling wit and awesome intellect. And, verily, some could make the argument that cracking Jewish jokes that would've sounded shop worn back in Shylock's day is not so much offensive as merely downright dull. But actually, I think everyone's missing the point here.

For a start, as every article about her makes clear, Berry's been round the Hollywood block for some time now. We're not talking a Kim Cattrell length of time but probably longer than Britney Spears has been on this planet. So for Berry to make such a cracker certainly puts paid to that always charming canard about Jews controlling Hollywood - after all, if Berry had been dealing with them for the past 20 plus years it's unlikely she would have been so quick on the big nose draw there, not least because it is completely untrue, as one skating glance at Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson proves, if proof were needed (OK, don't look at me for this one.) Moreover, hopefully Berry's blatantness will shame the industry out of the still existing tedious Jewish stereotypes, particularly when it comes to women, despite the above two sterling examples. She's (kind of) funny, yes, but Sarah Silverman's Jewish princess pastiche is just a little too heavily drawn for some people's liking, and don't even get me started on Janice from Friends.

But most exciting of all has been Berry's explanation / semi-apology for her joke. So you know how when some twat in the pub makes some wincing homophobic joke and you yell at him and he holds his hands up and wheels out that old standby that "some of my best friends are gay", yeah? Well, Halle goes one better: "I have three girls who are Jewish who work for me." Brilliant! That is just so kind of her to occasionally let some big noses into her home and, you, know, clean the trophy cabinet, or something. The Jewish Aid Committee should give her honorary membership. Even more thrilling is the insight into Berry's domestic affairs - "three girls"? But what on earth do these three Yentls do to help ease Berry's busy life? Again, another insight: "We were going through the photos to see which ones looked silly and one of my Jewish friends said, 'That could be your Jewish cousin!' I guess it was fresh in my mind and just came out." Was this actually a 'friend', do you think, or one of her semitic servants? We'll never fully know, but it's good to know they amuse Berry through some good ol' fashioned self-deprecation.

But I think the important thing to take away from all of this is that it's unlikely Halle will be winning any more Oscars in the near future. So if that means none of us will have to see her a-weeping and a-wailing in some pig ugly brown dress on international TV in the near future, well, I'd say this joke was all to the best.

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